“I’ve gotten fat,” I said.
“Not fat,” says my Mom.
“Not fat,” says my boy.
“Not fat,” says another fat chick.
“You’re fat,” says the chart.
…well shit.
I’ve eaten and moved
Most well in my life.
I exercise way more
Then just once or twice.
I eat all my veggies,
My fruit and no spam.
I even avoid
Things out of a can.
And yet, I hit thirty,
And BAM–what’s this flab?
Wasn’t there a movie
About how thirties is fab?
I don’t even like sugar,
What the hell, thunder thighs?!
Genetic’s a beast,
And the diet’s a lie.
“No noodles,” they say,
“No rice or bread.”
“Just eat lots of lettuce.”
I’d rather be dead.
“Run fifty miles,”
I can only run three!
And yet, here we are,
Back rolls and belly.
“Fat gives you boobs,”
That’s also a lie.
“Love yourself! Beautiful!”
Oh, go off and die.
We all know we fat shame
In the depths of our heart.
Because fat is lazy,
And the most shameful part–
Of being a woman
In a well fed world.
You can’t be well off
If you’re fat and a girl.
It’s not about boys
It’s about firm control.
And there is no strength
When you have tummy rolls.
You’re not fit, you’re not strong,
You’re not slim, then you’re wrong,
Because you’re gross and you’re bad,
Lazy, useless, and sad.
So I’m trying, I am,
Even back as a teen,
I’ve never been lazy,
Always tried to be lean!
And yet, here I am
At the end of the line,
Chubby and ugly,
Simply by design.
Author T.S. Lowe 
Wonderful poem. It resonates well with me. Thanks for writing
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It’s a battle for most of us, I think, to smother this voice in our heads and accept our best effort for what it is.
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Hey, long-time lurker here. I’m sorry for focussing on this instead of the poem, which seems very personal and raw. But first impressions matter, and the accompanying image immediately caught my attention in a negative way. Weird fingers, nonsensical text… Everything screams AI. I get the appeal of playing around with AI images, but in cases like this I don’t see the advantage at all. It looks as generic as a stock photo, except there’s also these sloppy aspects to it.
I don’t know, there’s more reasons why I’m not fond of AI, so maybe I’m letting those get to me, but it bothers me even more when art that IS personally made and authentic (at least I presume) is paired with something that gives off the impression it was slapped onto it without looking too closely at it. That’s not even neccessarily to do with AI specifically, it’s just about the overall impression. I mean, you draw and paint yourself, and I like your work. So I find it doubly a shame to see AI used for art in a way that just seems so … devoid of care.
Anyway, just had to get that off my chest.
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I hope that was a relief. ^.^ Yeah, since I started homeschooling my kids this year because the local public school is failing, I haven’t had time to write let alone paint. And I wanted a picture to go with this poem. I’m also sick right now and have gnarly PMDD so I didn’t have any energy. I apologize for not giving you my best. Perhaps I’ll think twice before posting anything up.
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Thank you so much for reading my poetry and seeing my art, btw. I don’t expect anyone to view any of it and just put it up there just because, so it’s always pleasantly surprising when someone does.
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