My husband and I live in that ambivalent time of life when you're old enough to do what every other adult does, but young enough to be too poor, and generally forgotten about to do most of it. We live in a college town, which makes it even worse, because not only do all the … Continue reading Frog-Eyed Salad
Tag: anxiety
A Strip Away
Tell me how to strip away my skull to get to the broken bits within. The twisted wires that connect me to the overwhelming want for darkness, for nonexistence, for my flesh to peel off, because I cannot survive with just bone. Tell me there's a strip of hope I'm not seeing, one strong enough … Continue reading A Strip Away
Wake Me Up When I’m Smarter
What do I do now, Father? The die's been cast the game now bought and the red numbers higher than ever, while I, here, have no hands-on in controlling the flow of money. Blank, hard, cold cash. It hurts the lack thereof, but hurts more than I even want it at all. There is no … Continue reading Wake Me Up When I’m Smarter
About Father
He, the great who knows he is great, takes his time with sturdy shoes and a shop full of the world's next wonders carving for himself a legacy that he knows is a legacy. So many hate him for knowing it. He, the rich, who only speaks not of it because, to him, there's a … Continue reading About Father
My Second Step-Father
She told me to call him Father, because my real Daddy had abandoned me long ago. And she said this with her new husband in the room. Father didn't like me. Said I didn't know respect, though, to this day, I've never been able to peice together what made up his needed respect. She told … Continue reading My Second Step-Father
Whisper
Quiet, now. For once your fears or discomfort are whistled to, he shall deny them. But they shan't dissolve. So whisper to the darkness that something's wrong and let it echo back. Or perhaps the abyss will swallow it. So hush. For if wrong's swallowed you'll want it too, you'll lean over. But should someone … Continue reading Whisper
Morning Sickness
Last the days though one night is impossible. Survival through sheer what? Enduring cannot be wasting and withering, and begging for death. Many others have survived. Speak of the night like a fond ghost story, still tingling with horror, because newborns are worth it. Worth it... It's not the worth I fear, nor the lack … Continue reading Morning Sickness
The Responsible Party
Fill me full of dreams while an angel destroys a kitchen and burns holes in the carpet with a child's dream of a match bonfire. Say I may have luck while reprimanding the me, the mom, because the angel spilled the juice left soda on the stairs and got into, yet more matches. Say I'm … Continue reading The Responsible Party
Son of Star
Ah, son of star I see you, up there, blinking and wavering from the constant burn. What you wouldn't give to fall from heaven and dive into the ocean. But the ocean is vast and dark and cold, and so very unlike the family of stars. Burning, as they may, from the essence of their … Continue reading Son of Star
Stuck in the Deep
What options are left in times like these? When I have sunken down so deep the sunlight cannot reach and I can't see any rising bubbles. I go right, it's still black I go left, might as well turn back, and, perhaps, I hadn't turned at all. So, do I sink or do I float? … Continue reading Stuck in the Deep
Author T.S. Lowe 