It’s hard to think deeply unsettled as shells half-baked and empty on the sand. Only fingers can change my view. Otherwise, I can only wait the eons between high and low sea tides. Even then, no life hangs to my sides, though it was life that I came to be.
Tag: coping with anxiety
Off Kilter
I crouch in a dark room. Sun closed off. Sky closed off. Curtains, keep all sight away, because my chest is painfully tight and a hole is burning through me for no reason, and it blisters against the thoughts screaming "Why?" But there's really no answer to that. Or an answer too large to hold, … Continue reading Off Kilter
Light my Nights
I find the sound of your tiny snores ease my darkest nights. A profile of long lashes and bits of polished sky-- bits of me. But I couldn't be this beautiful. I want to hold you like in the days when you despaired whenever you couldn't hear my heart, but you're older now. And no … Continue reading Light my Nights
Tell Me How To Fix My Drug
Tell me how to fix my drug. I'll gladly yield my chains to the pill that gives me no high, no pleasant side effect, just the ability to almost almost feel normal. So tell me how to fix my drug. Tell me to take walks in the sunlit muse of evergreens and myrtle trees, and … Continue reading Tell Me How To Fix My Drug
Scrape Me Off
Scrape me off till I'm just bone, no muscles left to ache. Leave me limp on somewhere soft and in the sun to bake. Pop my joints, let nothing stick to aggravate or scorn. And when I'm done resting in peace, put me back once more.
Flower Girl
How is it a gift to be delicate and pleasing when the winds and storms of thine ungentle cares crush me, demanding, yet hating the coarse strength of bark and root? But should I fall, and indeed I may, I know I'll sprout to bloom again in thine sun; delicate, even if you blow me … Continue reading Flower Girl
I’m Not Strong
I'm not strong. I only yell my hands to still until I reach the lonely corner to curl up and give in to the weakness. I'm not strong. My mind lasted for childhood then broke in motherhood. I demand for sense but it draws blank-- to black. I'm not strong. I wail against the world … Continue reading I’m Not Strong
How to Fix Yourself
How to Fix Yourself: "Take a deep breath, without throwing up. Think of happy things, without thinking at all. Try to figure out why you are feeling. Reason and logic out your emotions. Let go of control to gain your control. Depend on this pill to be independent. Love yourself 'cause you don't trust others. And … Continue reading How to Fix Yourself
On Panic Attacks
Keep the light on. The darkness scares the little in the old me, and I have forgotten how to tame it. Leave the light on, forget the electric bill, and let me sleep just for a night beneath that glow. Keep the light on, just while I sleep. In night and darkness I am alone. … Continue reading On Panic Attacks
I Don’t Want to Take My Medicine
8I don't want to take my medicine. I want to be able to choose for myself whether I'm frightened or not. But every hour asks me, 'do you think you need your drug?' It's weakness, that little orange bottle, filled with sedatives. I want to be strong. Normal. Have a chance to be proud. Not … Continue reading I Don’t Want to Take My Medicine
Author T.S. Lowe 