I am a horrible person. A 600 pound woman, with flesh hanging like veils past her limbs, gave birth to a 40 pound baby not too long ago. And all I could wonder was how it had gotten there in the first place. ...You're probably a horrible person too.
Tag: humor
Raising a Hero–Chapter 29
In the morning I woke up to Gus passed out shirtless on the floor, a bit of drool gleaming at the corner of his mouth. The light peaking through the curtain was gray and I could hear the hushing taps of rain outside. Shivering, I sat up, wondering why my underwear felt so crusty. The … Continue reading Raising a Hero–Chapter 29
Why Fan Girls Creep Me Out
I'm going to hunt for Seto Kaiba. I'll get an old van painted blue, record a few shows for ol' Youtube. Everyone will want to see if I find Seto Kaiba, or one in kind. I do not care if I'm forty years old, For the sake of Kaiba I will be bold. And when … Continue reading Why Fan Girls Creep Me Out
Cats and Colds
Sometimes I like to pretend my cat has feelings for me. Maybe it's because my cranium spouts mucous like the blowhole of a whale, and that, for some reason makes me yearn for feline affection. But colds aren't so bad. At least it isn't getting close and personal to the way God designed your innards … Continue reading Cats and Colds
Dear Daily Burn
Dear Daily Burn advertisements, Please stop making me feel fat. Sincerely, I am not fat...right?
Author T.S. Lowe 