Maybe I can bloom into my imagined homes of green gardens and gentle streams filed with jewels for the pleasure of little hands. Precious hands. May I walk among those waters to offer glittering light to the wonder of my little loves? Come. May I call you ‘precious’ and love all your happy times and … Continue reading Crazy House Poem #3
Tag: mental disorders
Off Kilter
I crouch in a dark room. Sun closed off. Sky closed off. Curtains, keep all sight away, because my chest is painfully tight and a hole is burning through me for no reason, and it blisters against the thoughts screaming "Why?" But there's really no answer to that. Or an answer too large to hold, … Continue reading Off Kilter
The Day My Brain Busts
I whisper to myself jealously that I'll be alright. My body's gone this far. My brain will be the first to shut down, like an engine with just one too many miles. But the rest of me is still fresh. But tomorrow I will be clean. Start at dawn clean the places I have been, … Continue reading The Day My Brain Busts
How to Fix Yourself
How to Fix Yourself: "Take a deep breath, without throwing up. Think of happy things, without thinking at all. Try to figure out why you are feeling. Reason and logic out your emotions. Let go of control to gain your control. Depend on this pill to be independent. Love yourself 'cause you don't trust others. And … Continue reading How to Fix Yourself
On Panic Attacks
Keep the light on. The darkness scares the little in the old me, and I have forgotten how to tame it. Leave the light on, forget the electric bill, and let me sleep just for a night beneath that glow. Keep the light on, just while I sleep. In night and darkness I am alone. … Continue reading On Panic Attacks
A Strip Away
Tell me how to strip away my skull to get to the broken bits within. The twisted wires that connect me to the overwhelming want for darkness, for nonexistence, for my flesh to peel off, because I cannot survive with just bone. Tell me there's a strip of hope I'm not seeing, one strong enough … Continue reading A Strip Away
Whisper
Quiet, now. For once your fears or discomfort are whistled to, he shall deny them. But they shan't dissolve. So whisper to the darkness that something's wrong and let it echo back. Or perhaps the abyss will swallow it. So hush. For if wrong's swallowed you'll want it too, you'll lean over. But should someone … Continue reading Whisper
Stuck in the Deep
What options are left in times like these? When I have sunken down so deep the sunlight cannot reach and I can't see any rising bubbles. I go right, it's still black I go left, might as well turn back, and, perhaps, I hadn't turned at all. So, do I sink or do I float? … Continue reading Stuck in the Deep
Pee and the Best Bi-Polar Disorder
Raising a three-year-old, and children in general I suspect, is a lot like having an unmedicated bi-polar disorder. One minute you're filled to the brim with warm, fuzzy love that would throw you in front of a semi-truck for the sake of this child. The next, you're the semi-truck out to coat your grill in … Continue reading Pee and the Best Bi-Polar Disorder
We Manage Us
You make me queasy. You make me long to sleep the day away and never leave this quilted, padded hole, where no one can find me. You make me hurt. You make me dream of jamming screw drivers to my broken brain to dig out the part that malfunctions, no matter how necessary, so I … Continue reading We Manage Us
Author T.S. Lowe 