Social Anxiety

It’s being afraid that everyone
is getting ready to tell you
you’re wrong.
Wrong in how you think,
wrong in what you do,
wrong in how you live,
wrong in what you believe,
wrong in what you know,
wrong for just existing,
but most of all,
wrong for what you feel–

and having no logical reason
to back it up.

It’s fear of going out your house,
because PEOPLE are there,
waiting to scowl,
to hurt,
to throw you to the side
and forget about you,
because, really,
you’re not that important.

But most of all
it’s fear
that they’re right.

That you’re just
wrong wrong wrong wrong
in every cell.
Wrong for existing,
wrong for choosing,
wicked, unneeded, hated,
loathed,
unloved,
and that, somehow, in some way,
even if it’s small,
that they are right.

And that all this fear
that twists your gut,
makes it hard to breathe,
makes your head spin
and your heart beat harder
and harder
inside your ears,
is right.

And that you’ll never
ever
understand
why.